Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
