even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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