At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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