he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
