your room smells of hookers.
And success
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
