If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
