Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize