The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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