You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
