i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
