I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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