ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the day after is always just damage control
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
be right there i have to get my cape
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
