Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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