It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
