I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
