tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
