You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
