Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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