Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
