Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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