our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
