Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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