There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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