So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
