Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you will always have a special place in my vag
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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