wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize