i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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