i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
