is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
