i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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