32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
