Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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