Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize