i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
