Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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