One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
