This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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