It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
