4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
