I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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