I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
