Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
