how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize