You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
