i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
