Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
