***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
