yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
