OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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