Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
