the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
