I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
