my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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