i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
