May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry my hands just texted you
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
