I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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