I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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