As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
