I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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