...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Even my vagina gasped.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize