I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
