I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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