how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize