i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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