Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
